Thursday, February 3, 2011

decidedly unsophisticated fragrance shopping

I recently went shopping for perfume. I love the one I currently wear but the scent is entirely too light. I don't think anyone can smell it but me, and I only smell it for the first two minutes of spraying it.

So last weekend, I went to the mall.

I made various observations, which I will now share with you.

Observation 1. At least 30% of the perfumes smelled like apples, exactly the same apples. Apparently that's big right now.

DKNY Be Delicious smells like Coach Poppy smells like one of the Lancome perfumes smells like the bottle of Irresistable Apple perfume from Bath and Body Works that I already own. I imagine there is some factory filling all these different bottles with the SAME formula.

Observation 2. One must never, under any circumstances, spray the Prada! Once applied directly to skin, it caused me to reek like a geriatric French whore for hours. People in the mall flinched away. Soap and water failed to rescue me. I could smell nothing else.

Observation 3. My son will blurt out embarrassing things loudly when in fancy department stores. He likes the ladies a little more than your average seven year old boy. I should have known when I saw the arrangement of like 30 tester bottles on the counter that he would zero in on the bottle in the shape of a woman’s torso (jean-paul gaultier).

In the middle of the shiny, fancy department store, he exclaimed, "I want to smell the boobies!"

Facepalm. Of course, you do.

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  1. OK, this entry was hilarious. Also, I do believe you are channeling D.K. with your statement about the Prada fragrance. That sounded just like her.

  2. hey! geriatric added some flair. The french whore reference is a common figure of speech. but yes, DK did make that comparison for someone else lately.


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